Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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