nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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