I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
