I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
oh god the rape fog is back!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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