Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize