I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
