I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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