Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
