Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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