Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
