GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
