So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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