We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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