my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
