i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
