I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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