I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize