i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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