I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
