You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
