Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
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