Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
