physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
