he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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