I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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