its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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