He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
