Sponge bath it is.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
