Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
