Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
