my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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