And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
