just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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