She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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