can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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