Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize