You can't special order awesome
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
How naked do you want me to be?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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