brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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