Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
