Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
