"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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