Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
