Dual....:-)
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
