i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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