im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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