Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
