he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
