I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
