on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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