Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
