Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
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