I was born with a shot glass in my hand
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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