thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
