I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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