I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
