trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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