my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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