I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
