This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
