Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
